MY FORGOTTEN SELF - The Self Center

Present Moment: Meditating With Metaphors

3/4/2015

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Meditation can feel difficult at times. Below, I've highlighted many metaphors and short phrases I sometimes use to bring my awareness to the present moment.
Visualize one or more of the metaphors to help focus your awareness during your meditation. Also, read this article by Todd Goldfarb to get more tips on how to meditate.

When you feel overwhelmed by difficult emotions or notice your mind drifting into the past or future, just take a breath. A focus on each breath will keep you become grounded in what is real—the present moment.

Gently shift your attention away from the doubts, fears, and deadlines flying around you and place your attention on your breath.

Do not try to change your breath by making it deeper, shallower, louder or softer. Just notice it. The breath is natural it does not need to be commanded, it just happens, most times outside of our awareness.

Notice how your breath sets a beat for your body. Your chest rises and falls; your abdomen goes in and out; the sensation in your throat shifts from warm to cool. Notice other ways in which your body synchronizes to the beat of the breath.

Your attention will attempt to float into the high winds of thoughts swirling in your mind. Do not fight the thoughts, just simply notice and like a balloon floating away with the wind, gently grab the tail of your attention and bring it back to your breath.

You realize only this moment. And that in this very moment, nothing is wrong. All is well as you simply notice your breath.

Your mind may start to wander again. Past events, to-do lists--like clouds passing in the sky, let them pass through your awareness and return to the breath.

Sensations may arise—an itch, tension in your back, numbness in your butt. Some areas may feel cold or warm. Know that all sensations, like thoughts, are temporary. Like waves into the shore, simply allow them to flow in and out of your awareness, and return to the breath.

You may notice emotions such as fear, anxiety, or even boredom well up. These are simply your minds way of seeking pleasure or avoiding fear or frustration.

Notice that in this moment, your body, and your surroundings are all as they should be. Thinking about the future or past does not change them in this perfect instant so gently return your focus to the breath.

Notice as your emotions, sensations, and thoughts arise, if you re-focus your attention on your breath, they eventually disappear. To the rhythm of your breath, a gentle dance between your thoughts and the present moment transpires—back/forth, in/out, up/down—a motion that is not to be resisted but witnessed.

By: Lynyetta Willis

Copyright © My Forgotten Self SelfExplore, 2014-2018. All rights reserved

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May I: Self-Compassion Exercise

2/4/2015

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Many times we often treat our friends or children with more compassion than we treat ourselves. This inequity is often caused by fear, learning (from watching care-givers treatment of themselves or experiencing it in the ways they treat us), or judgment. The purpose of the current exercise is to help you gain more awareness of your level of self-compassion. This exercise will also give you ways to cultivate more self-compassion and a deeper understanding of what your own seeds of wisdom may be trying to get you to see.

It may be helpful if you write down what comes up for you at each phase.

Self-compassion Assessment
1) Think of a situation towards which you find yourself generating a mild to moderate amount of self-criticism, regret or self-directed anger. This may be a situation you find yourself repeating in your mind over and over again. A situation which generates particularly harsh judgments against the decisions your made or words you spoke. Take a moment to feel the criticism and judgment within you. Where do you notice it—your neck, back, shoulders? Notice the words that arise when you think about this situation. What are you telling yourself about yourself? What tone are you using towards yourself? Write this down.

2) Take a moment to picture someone in your life whom you love deeply. Maybe a friend or a child. Picture their face, hear their voice and their laughter. You may even be able to generate a smell that reminds you of them. Take a moment to notice the emotions and sensations that arise within you as you picture this person. Where do you notice these sensations—your chest, head? Write this down.

3) Now imagine this person came to you with the same situation you noted earlier. If the person you noted is younger, project into the future and imagine they are older if it makes this easier. What would you say to this person about the fact that they are in this situation? What tone would you use to speak with them? Would your view of them change? How? What emotions towards this person do you notice arising within you as you visualize having this conversation? Write this down.

4) Now reflect on the difference between how you treated yourself and your loved one. What do you notice? If you noted a difference, what is it about yourself that leads you to treat yourself so differently? How do your expectations and fears towards yourself and your loved one differ? Write this down.

Self-compassion Development
Look back or take a moment to think about what emotions you generated for your loved one that would be helpful for you—Kindness? Patience? Compassion? Forgiveness? Love? Worthiness? If any of the following resonates with you, repeat the following affirmations. If not, come up with something that does. Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and place their hands over their heart as they recite. Say each affirmation slowly and take a deep breath after saying each one. Give time for each affirmation to sink in and notice how you feel. Try not to rush.

May I know that I am worthy of compassion.
May I know that I am worthy of patience.
May I know that I am worthy of forgiveness.
May I know that I am worthy of love.
May I give myself compassion.
May I give myself patience.
May I give myself forgiveness.
May I give myself love.

Repeat these or your personal affirmations at least twice a day. The repetition will help embed them in your mind. Eventually, you will find yourself recalling them automatically when you need reminding.

Repeat this entire exercise in one month and see if you notice any changes.

Self-compassion & Wisdom
Now, reflect on the face of your loved one again. Allow the emotions to arise within you. When you feel a sense of compassion, verbally ask the question (regarding the situation you noted on #1), “what lesson am I to learn from this situation?”

Sit in silence and stillness and notice what comes up. Write it down and express gratitude towards yourSelf and/or Spirit for granting you this wisdom.

Copyright © My Forgotten Self SelfExplore, 2014-2015. All rights reserved

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Parts of Me: Emotional Awareness Exercise

1/19/2015

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The purpose of the following exercise is to assist you gaining an awareness of and accepting difficult emotions.

Our refusal to emotionally accept “what is,” is usually the result of fear. Fear that the emotion or thoughts accompanying “what is” will overwhelm us in ways from which we cannot recover. One way to deal with this fear is to gain a deeper awareness of our emotions. Ultimately, this awareness can lead to understanding; and this understanding can lead to acceptance (vs. avoidance) of the present moment.

Instead of avoiding emotions, it may be helpful to think of them in this way:

Though we appear to be individuals, we are actually comprised of many Parts. This “community” of Parts is made most apparent when we make statements such as “A part of me wants to do this, but another part of me wants to do that.” When we experience a very strong emotion such as anger or fear, we are actually feeling the experience of a very charged Part of us that carries the emotions, beliefs and sensations that we are identifying within the moment. For instance, my belief that “I should quickly get over this relationship” was held by a well-intended part of me that desired to help me avoid many painful emotions.

Think of an event
Close your eyes and think of a mild to moderately upsetting event. Maybe a customer service person was rude to you or you had a negative exchange at work. Remember specifics: what you saw, heard, said, and thought.

Focus on sensations, thoughts and emotions.
When you have the scene and memory firmly planted in your mind, focus on your body:
What body sensations do you notice? Tightness? Numbness?
What thoughts about the event do you notice arising?
What emotions towards the event do you notice arising?

*These sensations, thoughts, and emotions are held by a Part of you which carries the experiences related to the event you identified.

Generate an image and distance from the Part.
As you focus on the sensations, thoughts and emotions, try to generate an image of this Part.
    What form does it take? Does it have a color? What size is it? Shape?
    If it would be helpful, take a moment to draw what you see in your mind’s eye.

Now, imagine this Part 5-7 feet in front of you.

*This allows you to gain distance from this Part’s emotions, thoughts and sensations so you can get to know it without feeling overwhelmed by it.

What do you notice?
Simply observe the part.
If you are comfortable, consider the following questions:
    What do you notice about the Part? What stands out to you?
    What changes do you notice in your emotions and body sensations now that the     Part is “outside” of you?
    How do you feel towards this Part?

*If you feel at all overwhelmed by the emotions of the Part (i.e. you intensely feel the emotions related to the event you recalled), re-imagine the part distancing about 5-7 feet in front of you again.
*If you are comfortable, ask the Part to back away from you and not overwhelm you as much so you can get to know it.

Get to know this Part of you.
If you are feeling curious (or a similar emotion) towards this part consider asking the Part some questions:
    What is the role or purpose that you serve?
    What do you do to carry out this role?
    What are you afraid would happen if you did not perform this role?
    What do you need from me?

Thank this Part for allowing you to get to know it a bit.

If you are feeling any emotion that does not evoke a sense of curiosity towards the Part, simply be with the emotions that are rising. Label them and thank the Part for granting you insight into its experience.

*Gratitude is important. Notice what you do well especially if it is something you didn't think you would be able to do!

Reflect and Repeat
Are your sensations, emotions, and thoughts different in any way now that the exercise is complete?

Is your reaction towards the event you identified different from when you first began this exercise?

Have you gained any additional knowledge about yourself or the event you recalled after completing this exercise?

Repeat this exercise at least once per day. Though it may initially seem odd, many people find that it assists them in thinking about and relating to their emotions differently; with more acceptance and more compassion. Your completion of this exercise does not need to be as formal as it is laid out here. The goal is to notice and accept the fact that emotions are present so that you are able to generate a deeper understanding of them, your intentions, and motivations.

*This exercise was adapted from the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model by Dick Scwartz. I am a Level 1 trained IFS therapist.

Copyright © My Forgotten Self SelfExplore, 2014-2015. All rights reserved

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Just Notice: Enhancing Self-Awareness

1/6/2015

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A major principle of awareness is noticing without judgement. Training your mind to notice what goes on internally and externally with a sense of curiosity is key to this process.

Find a quiet place. Keep your eyes open or closed. Focus on your breath and take 10 deep breaths. As you focus notice they way your chest rises and falls, the sensations created as cool air tunnels down your airway and fills your lungs. Notice the sound the air makes as it enters and exits your nostrils.
If you find your mind wandering during this time, gently bring it back to your breath. Do not judge where your mind goes. Your breath is your anchor. When your mind wanders just return to the breath.
Notice how your body feels after these 10 deep breaths. Start at the top of your head and scan your body: scalp, face, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, fingers, chest, midsection, pelvic area, thighs, knees, lower legs, ankles, feet. What do you notice? Your muscles, are they tight, or loose? Does your skin feel still or crawl? Your organs, can you feel your heart beat? Your stomach turn? What do you notice?
Remember, if you find your mind wandering during this time, gently bring it back to your breath. Your breath is your anchor. Do not judge where your mind goes just gently bring it back.
Try to expand your awareness to that which is available to your senses--

Are your eyes open? What do they fall upon? Allow your eyes to land on various items within your environment. Do not cling to or try to understand or "analyze" anything you see. Just notice.

If your eyes are closed, notice what you see? Do you see darkness? Colors? Again, do not judge just take it in. What do your eyes feel? Pressure? Nothing at all?

Focus on your mouth. What do you notice? Is your mouth wet or dry? Your lips? What do you taste? Just notice.

Focus on your skin, what do you notice? How do your clothes feel against your skin? Your hands, your feet Are they touching anything? Are they warm or cold? Just notice.

Take a deep breath in. What do you smell? Is your nose warm or cold?

Now focus on your ears. What do you hear? Do not cling to or try to interpret what you hear. Just notice.
Now bring your awareness back to your breath. Take five deep breaths focusing on the sounds and sensations that each breath creates.
Try to find time to practice this or another awareness exercise at least once each day. Repetition is your best training tool!

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You just took a step to become more aware of the truths your body, mind and spirit are holding. Awareness is the first step towards getting in touch with your Divine Self and healing!

Copyright © My Forgotten Self SelfExplore, 2014-2015. All rights reserved

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Self Centering

The remembering of our forgotten Self is a paradoxical path of surrender and will. Surrendering to the Spirit that guides you strengthens the will of your Soul to consciously reclaim your Divine heritage. This section contains self-centering and self-exploration exercises that can aid the will of your Soul on its journey.

This section should not be used to replace therapeutic support from a licensed mental health professional. If you are in distress, please seek the assistance of someone trained to walk with you on your healing journey.

Present Moment: Meditating With Metaphors

May I: Self-Compassion Exercise

Parts of Me: Emotional Awareness Exercise

Just Notice: Enhancing Self-Awareness

Self Centering

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