Many times we often treat our friends or children with more compassion than we treat ourselves. This inequity is often caused by fear, learning (from watching care-givers treatment of themselves or experiencing it in the ways they treat us), or judgment. The purpose of the current exercise is to help you gain more awareness of your level of self-compassion. This exercise will also give you ways to cultivate more self-compassion and a deeper understanding of what your own seeds of wisdom may be trying to get you to see.
It may be helpful if you write down what comes up for you at each phase.
Self-compassion Assessment
1) Think of a situation towards which you find yourself generating a mild to moderate amount of self-criticism, regret or self-directed anger. This may be a situation you find yourself repeating in your mind over and over again. A situation which generates particularly harsh judgments against the decisions your made or words you spoke. Take a moment to feel the criticism and judgment within you. Where do you notice it—your neck, back, shoulders? Notice the words that arise when you think about this situation. What are you telling yourself about yourself? What tone are you using towards yourself? Write this down.
2) Take a moment to picture someone in your life whom you love deeply. Maybe a friend or a child. Picture their face, hear their voice and their laughter. You may even be able to generate a smell that reminds you of them. Take a moment to notice the emotions and sensations that arise within you as you picture this person. Where do you notice these sensations—your chest, head? Write this down.
3) Now imagine this person came to you with the same situation you noted earlier. If the person you noted is younger, project into the future and imagine they are older if it makes this easier. What would you say to this person about the fact that they are in this situation? What tone would you use to speak with them? Would your view of them change? How? What emotions towards this person do you notice arising within you as you visualize having this conversation? Write this down.
4) Now reflect on the difference between how you treated yourself and your loved one. What do you notice? If you noted a difference, what is it about yourself that leads you to treat yourself so differently? How do your expectations and fears towards yourself and your loved one differ? Write this down.
Self-compassion Development
Look back or take a moment to think about what emotions you generated for your loved one that would be helpful for you—Kindness? Patience? Compassion? Forgiveness? Love? Worthiness? If any of the following resonates with you, repeat the following affirmations. If not, come up with something that does. Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and place their hands over their heart as they recite. Say each affirmation slowly and take a deep breath after saying each one. Give time for each affirmation to sink in and notice how you feel. Try not to rush.
May I know that I am worthy of compassion.
May I know that I am worthy of patience.
May I know that I am worthy of forgiveness.
May I know that I am worthy of love.
May I give myself compassion.
May I give myself patience.
May I give myself forgiveness.
May I give myself love.
Repeat these or your personal affirmations at least twice a day. The repetition will help embed them in your mind. Eventually, you will find yourself recalling them automatically when you need reminding.
Repeat this entire exercise in one month and see if you notice any changes.
Self-compassion & Wisdom
Now, reflect on the face of your loved one again. Allow the emotions to arise within you. When you feel a sense of compassion, verbally ask the question (regarding the situation you noted on #1), “what lesson am I to learn from this situation?”
Sit in silence and stillness and notice what comes up. Write it down and express gratitude towards yourSelf and/or Spirit for granting you this wisdom.
Copyright © My Forgotten Self SelfExplore, 2014-2015. All rights reserved
It may be helpful if you write down what comes up for you at each phase.
Self-compassion Assessment
1) Think of a situation towards which you find yourself generating a mild to moderate amount of self-criticism, regret or self-directed anger. This may be a situation you find yourself repeating in your mind over and over again. A situation which generates particularly harsh judgments against the decisions your made or words you spoke. Take a moment to feel the criticism and judgment within you. Where do you notice it—your neck, back, shoulders? Notice the words that arise when you think about this situation. What are you telling yourself about yourself? What tone are you using towards yourself? Write this down.
2) Take a moment to picture someone in your life whom you love deeply. Maybe a friend or a child. Picture their face, hear their voice and their laughter. You may even be able to generate a smell that reminds you of them. Take a moment to notice the emotions and sensations that arise within you as you picture this person. Where do you notice these sensations—your chest, head? Write this down.
3) Now imagine this person came to you with the same situation you noted earlier. If the person you noted is younger, project into the future and imagine they are older if it makes this easier. What would you say to this person about the fact that they are in this situation? What tone would you use to speak with them? Would your view of them change? How? What emotions towards this person do you notice arising within you as you visualize having this conversation? Write this down.
4) Now reflect on the difference between how you treated yourself and your loved one. What do you notice? If you noted a difference, what is it about yourself that leads you to treat yourself so differently? How do your expectations and fears towards yourself and your loved one differ? Write this down.
Self-compassion Development
Look back or take a moment to think about what emotions you generated for your loved one that would be helpful for you—Kindness? Patience? Compassion? Forgiveness? Love? Worthiness? If any of the following resonates with you, repeat the following affirmations. If not, come up with something that does. Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and place their hands over their heart as they recite. Say each affirmation slowly and take a deep breath after saying each one. Give time for each affirmation to sink in and notice how you feel. Try not to rush.
May I know that I am worthy of compassion.
May I know that I am worthy of patience.
May I know that I am worthy of forgiveness.
May I know that I am worthy of love.
May I give myself compassion.
May I give myself patience.
May I give myself forgiveness.
May I give myself love.
Repeat these or your personal affirmations at least twice a day. The repetition will help embed them in your mind. Eventually, you will find yourself recalling them automatically when you need reminding.
Repeat this entire exercise in one month and see if you notice any changes.
Self-compassion & Wisdom
Now, reflect on the face of your loved one again. Allow the emotions to arise within you. When you feel a sense of compassion, verbally ask the question (regarding the situation you noted on #1), “what lesson am I to learn from this situation?”
Sit in silence and stillness and notice what comes up. Write it down and express gratitude towards yourSelf and/or Spirit for granting you this wisdom.
Copyright © My Forgotten Self SelfExplore, 2014-2015. All rights reserved
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