I have been asked so many great questions about the book, My Forgotten Self especially as it relates to children, parenting and spirituality. I compiled the questions in this interview which is divided into three areas:
1. The book
2. Spiritual Insights
3. Parenting Wisdom
I use the word “parent” throughout the article. This is purely for efficiency. I am also writing to those who have an invaluable daily impact on children such as teachers, family friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and siblings. Enjoy and let me know if you have more questions!
~THE BOOK~
What inspired you to write, My Forgotten Self?
My Forgotten Self is a divinely inspired book. I did not plan to write it, rather it flowed through me during a time when I began to view God, not just as an external source but as an internal, active, and guiding presence.
Looking back, I believe the story's seeds were planted in my childhood. Growing up, I was blessed; strong women and men surrounded me; however, I also struggled into early adulthood, with a deep sense of insecurity and inadequacy. I attempted to fill the gap with education, but the abyss remained. Eventually, I returned to my childhood faith and began reading, meditating and asking deep questions. Over time, I received what I felt were divinely inspired responses. The God that once sat on a cloud now felt a lot closer and kinder than I was raised to believe. The gap within me began to fill.
When my son was born, I felt a deep desire to expose him to the insight I’d developed but I did not know how, so I prayed. I believe, My Forgotten Self was an answer to that prayer.
Looking back, I believe the story's seeds were planted in my childhood. Growing up, I was blessed; strong women and men surrounded me; however, I also struggled into early adulthood, with a deep sense of insecurity and inadequacy. I attempted to fill the gap with education, but the abyss remained. Eventually, I returned to my childhood faith and began reading, meditating and asking deep questions. Over time, I received what I felt were divinely inspired responses. The God that once sat on a cloud now felt a lot closer and kinder than I was raised to believe. The gap within me began to fill.
When my son was born, I felt a deep desire to expose him to the insight I’d developed but I did not know how, so I prayed. I believe, My Forgotten Self was an answer to that prayer.
How is My Forgotten Self different from other children's books?
There is a shortage of children’s books from which both parents and children can benefit. My Forgotten Self explores spiritual concepts such as self-worth, purpose, internal divine guidance, and unconditional love in a way that both parents and children can enjoy. While My Forgotten Self was not written to give definite answers to questions about deep spiritual concepts, it can provide a way for children and parents to creatively explore these ideas together.
There is also a shortage of children’s books containing culturally diverse imagery. In the real world, everyone is not the same color, age, or gender, and we all possess different strengths and abilities. In My Forgotten Self, a lot of care has been taken to reflect these differences throughout the illustrations drawn by Michele Phillips.
There is also a shortage of children’s books containing culturally diverse imagery. In the real world, everyone is not the same color, age, or gender, and we all possess different strengths and abilities. In My Forgotten Self, a lot of care has been taken to reflect these differences throughout the illustrations drawn by Michele Phillips.
Your main character is named, Tiev (pronounced "Tea-ev"). What does this name mean?
I’m not sure it has a historical origin. However, the meaning of her name is central to the book’s overall message in that it communicates a key nugget of ancient wisdom regarding who we are as spiritual beings. The revelation regarding the meaning of her name also adds a fun twist!
Who do you hope to reach with this book?
As a mom witnessing the growth of two young children, ages 3 and 6, I have come to believe that we are all deeply creative and spiritual beings. Unfortunately, we often forget this divine heritage as we age.
As my children grow, I believe my purpose is to nurture and empower the spiritual essence that already exists within them. Based upon this belief, I want to reach parents who are open to exploring creative ways to enliven that essence. Though we often believe children are too young to understand spiritual concepts, I hope this book offers parents a new creative approach through which they can reconsider that belief. Additionally, I want to reach children, and the inner children of adults, whose unique thoughts and dreams may have been discouraged or minimized.
My prayer is that this book will enable children and adults to remember that they are powerful, spiritual beings whose ideas and passions can carry them farther than they ever believed. Remembering this, I hope they are inspired to continue to explore their dreams with a strong sense of excitement and purpose.
As my children grow, I believe my purpose is to nurture and empower the spiritual essence that already exists within them. Based upon this belief, I want to reach parents who are open to exploring creative ways to enliven that essence. Though we often believe children are too young to understand spiritual concepts, I hope this book offers parents a new creative approach through which they can reconsider that belief. Additionally, I want to reach children, and the inner children of adults, whose unique thoughts and dreams may have been discouraged or minimized.
My prayer is that this book will enable children and adults to remember that they are powerful, spiritual beings whose ideas and passions can carry them farther than they ever believed. Remembering this, I hope they are inspired to continue to explore their dreams with a strong sense of excitement and purpose.
Why should parents want to buy My Forgotten Self and what age range of children would benefit most from it?
As a mom and spiritual seeker, I've had difficulties locating age appropriate literature to help me talk with my kids about spiritual concepts that I think are important. I have found that a majority of literature breaks down religious concepts for children, on the other hand, My Forgotten Self addresses concepts such as unconditional love, life’s purpose, and even difficult feelings like discouragement and hopelessness. Though everyone can benefit from the messages in this book, children ages 2-8 will delight in the illustrations and writing style.
When will My Forgotten Self be available for purchase?
I am hosting a pre-release event at the Decatur Book Festival in Decatur, Georgia over Labor Day weekend; September 4-6, 2015 (booth #609). I will talk briefly about the book on Saturday at 11 am in the Emerging Writers Tent. Also, I will have advance copies available for purchase. For those unable to make the festival, the book will be available for pre-order beginning on September 7. The book will be officially launched on February 6, 2016. I would be honored to sign the copies of everyone who pre-orders, just make a note or send an email when you place your order!
~SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS~
In your tagline, you state that the book has a "universal message." Does the message extend beyond parents and children?
It does! In My Forgotten Self, Tiev expresses her deepest dreams to her family. Though well-intentioned, her family shares their beliefs, fears and regrets with Tiev to protect her from making wrong decisions. As a result, Tiev becomes disheartened and in her sadness, a Being named, I Am, manifests within and around her. Through this encounter, Tiev finds wisdom, power and guidance. Similarly, who among us has not entertained messages of doubt and discouragement from people around us or from our own thoughts and internal voices?
I believe we have a presence within and around us that fills us with wisdom, power, and guidance; some refer to it as God, Spirit, Universe, intuition etc. The messages in My Forgotten Self, are universal in that they touch on everyone’s ability to access this source of love and power.
I believe we have a presence within and around us that fills us with wisdom, power, and guidance; some refer to it as God, Spirit, Universe, intuition etc. The messages in My Forgotten Self, are universal in that they touch on everyone’s ability to access this source of love and power.
Talk more about the books relationship to religion. Many authors shy away from writing religious books for children out of fear of alienating particular audiences.
As a psychologist specializing in spiritual development, I believe My Forgotten Self contains themes found along most people’s spiritual development journey— love, connection, self-worth, healing, and purpose, for example, are also themes universal to most of the world’s religions. In addition to sharing a vivid story, parents can explore concepts that reach across religious boundaries.
~PARENTING WISDOM~
What can parents do to help them feel equipped to nurture and empower their children’s spiritual essence?
The biggest nugget of wisdom I can offer parents is: Caregiver, heal thyself!
In My Forgotten Self, Tiev feels discouraged after hearing her protective family members give doubt-filled reasons why she should not seek her dreams. As a psychologist, parents ask me to “fix” their children. Parents then feel confused when I ask about their core beliefs; how parenting was modeled for them growing up; or old wounds that were poked within them during difficult interactions with their children. They do not always understand how their doubts and fears impact their relationship with their children.
Parenting is not easy, but when we become aware of how our beliefs, assumptions and history impact our daily interactions with our children, we deliver more creative responses that are less reactive and more intentional. This is, in part, my reason for blogging so much about healing, self-awareness, and spiritual growth. By focusing on these three areas, instead of dominating relationships with the children in our lives, we can co-create a connection and even learn from them.
In My Forgotten Self, Tiev feels discouraged after hearing her protective family members give doubt-filled reasons why she should not seek her dreams. As a psychologist, parents ask me to “fix” their children. Parents then feel confused when I ask about their core beliefs; how parenting was modeled for them growing up; or old wounds that were poked within them during difficult interactions with their children. They do not always understand how their doubts and fears impact their relationship with their children.
Parenting is not easy, but when we become aware of how our beliefs, assumptions and history impact our daily interactions with our children, we deliver more creative responses that are less reactive and more intentional. This is, in part, my reason for blogging so much about healing, self-awareness, and spiritual growth. By focusing on these three areas, instead of dominating relationships with the children in our lives, we can co-create a connection and even learn from them.
How can a parent’s healing of personal wounds and increasing self-awareness, help their children feel worthy and loved?
As parents, we want our children to feel valuable and unconditionally loved. Yet, based on past experiences and painful childhoods, many of us second guess our own worth and lovability. As a result--
We struggle to teach our children to live fully and authentically because we limit our dreams to the four walls of a tiny mental box.
We struggle to speak about self-compassion with mouths sore from self-inflicted emotional wounds.
We struggle to pass on our wisdom when we feel spiritually or emotionally blocked.
We struggle to model how to shoot for the stars when our eyes cannot see past the lids which fearfully cover them.
In short, as much as we may want to, it can be difficult to give what we do not feel we possess or believe.
We struggle to teach our children to live fully and authentically because we limit our dreams to the four walls of a tiny mental box.
We struggle to speak about self-compassion with mouths sore from self-inflicted emotional wounds.
We struggle to pass on our wisdom when we feel spiritually or emotionally blocked.
We struggle to model how to shoot for the stars when our eyes cannot see past the lids which fearfully cover them.
In short, as much as we may want to, it can be difficult to give what we do not feel we possess or believe.
If you could give one piece of advice to parents, what would it be?
This is my advice for parents:
The greatest gift we can give to our children is a clear and present head, heart and mind.
Trust me, I KNOW it's hard to turn off the mental to-do list, but try your best to be in the moment with your children. Focus on what they do and say; and focus on the emotions, thoughts and memories that come up for you in response. Do not judge or analyze yourself, this is just an opportunity to be curious and notice who you become, mentally and emotionally, when you are with them.
For the sake of all of our relationships, healing wounds and becoming consciously aware of how we view ourselves, others and the world will help us to reach clarity and be more present with those we love.
The greatest gift we can give to our children is a clear and present head, heart and mind.
Trust me, I KNOW it's hard to turn off the mental to-do list, but try your best to be in the moment with your children. Focus on what they do and say; and focus on the emotions, thoughts and memories that come up for you in response. Do not judge or analyze yourself, this is just an opportunity to be curious and notice who you become, mentally and emotionally, when you are with them.
For the sake of all of our relationships, healing wounds and becoming consciously aware of how we view ourselves, others and the world will help us to reach clarity and be more present with those we love.
Namaste!
RSS Feed