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Who's Driving You? 3 Powerful Lessons on Success, Surrender & Self-Awareness

10/17/2015

2 Comments

 
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Forgotten Self-False Self
Inspired art transforms the artist. ~Lynyetta G. Willis, PhD
After writing, My Forgotten Self, I thought it was my job to mold the text into what it needed to be; however, over time I realized that I was being molded as I gained a deeper awareness of--

my forgotten Self--the spiritual part of me that is who I was created to be; the carrier of my divine DNA.

And

my false self or ego--those well-intentioned parts of me that seek to protect and promote who I think I am.


My initial reaction to this awareness was to eject my false self from my car of consciousness. It always seemed determined to bring it's friends: fear, anger, regret, and self-consciousness along for the ride.  However, I've learned that my attempts to eject my false self only created more problems and exhaustion (think Hercules  chopping a head off of the hydra beast only to realize that 2 more heads emerged in its place...ugh). 

Over time, I realized that my false and forgotten selves can co-exist within my car of consciousness. The remedy did not require that I waste energy ejecting (or head slicing); but that I become more aware of which self--false or forgotten--is driving. I now know that my false self is not bad, it's short-sighted or often afraid. 


When we recognize that our false self is driving, 3 key lessons can aid us in surrendering the wheel (or our will) to our forgotten self. For most of us, this surrendering process feels continuous but when it occurs, our potential destinations are limitless.

False Self Joy Ride
Last month, while taking part in the Decatur Book Festival, my dear friend and volunteer, Nicole, laughed when I told her I only brought 100 copies of my new children’s book, My Forgotten Self, to sell--

Nicole:  Yeeeeah, that’s not enough. You’re gonna to sell out.
Me: Yeah right, there are so many children’s vendors here. I‘ll be lucky if I sell 50 copies.

Ultimately, Nicole was right! I sold out, and had to take pre-orders from additional customers who read the demo copy. I was astonished!  I became so full watching parents and children marvel over the illustrations, develop an emotional connection to Tiev’s tale and express a deep resonance with the books message.  I received so many leads about churches, schools and organizations that would love and needed this book.  I felt honored to listen to stories from those who felt like Tiev at some point in their lives. The lines forming at my booth of children and parents awaiting their first read or purchase of my book excited me!

During the festival, I floated on a cloud.  Sadly, when I arrived home, my cloud dissolved as I was hit with a harsh realization:

I didn’t get any customer email addresses for follow-up. That was my tribe, my audience and I let them walk away! WHY didn’t I think of this?!?

I spent the next three weeks frustrated with myself. Nothing soothed me, not the “Thank you for sharing your book with the world!” Facebook posts; the email from a mother asking permission to paint a quote from the book on her daughter’s wall; the psychologist who purchased a copy and asked to receive it as soon as possible for her client. While these moments satisfied me briefly, the memory of “the royal screw up” smothered my joy with frustration.
 
My thoughts--How could you forget?!–made it difficult to rest in the awesomeness of what was happening:

A book was born through me and enjoyed by so many. People understood its message and integrated it into the lives of their most valuable treasures—their children.


Who's in the Driver's Seat?
I recently came across an article by spiritual teacher, Dr. Wayne Dyer who transitioned last month.  The article is about living ones purpose:

"…if you’re motivated to be of service to others while being authentically detached from the outcome, you’ll feel on purpose, regardless of how much abundance flows back to you.  Allow yourself to be in the feeling place within you that’s unconcerned with such things as vocational choices or doing the things you were destined to do."  ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

When My Forgotten Self was divinely gifted to me I thought,

“I am going to publish this book, not for glory but because this is my role in the life of this tale.  Whether it is enjoyed by one reader or a million is not my concern. Thy (God’s) will be done.”

After the Decatur Book Festival, my false self, hopped into the driver’s seat.  My thoughts transformed from,

“thy will” into “my will...my customers...my audience...my tribe…” 

Fear, frustration, regret and desire propelled my actions; my peace and joy became aligned with my false self’s short-sighted view of success. As Dr. Dyer cautions against, I became attached to the outcome of this journey.  I now remember, this is God’s book and God decides what it should accomplish. I can now chuckle at the irony that as a writer of a book about our inherent self-worth, I began to tightly coil my self-worth and success around the momentum of that very book!


True Self Takes the Wheel with 3 Powerful Lessons
Once I realized that my false self was driving, through meditation, I sat still and requested guidance on how to realign with qualities of my true forgotten self—courage, curiosity, clarity, creativity.  I was guided back to My Forgotten Self (the book :-) ) and 3 important lessons:

1.  Tiev learns that she possesses within her, a divine source of power and  
     guidance.

Within you rests a spiritual GPS guided by spirit.  Set your intentions, remember that all is in perfect divine order and follow your spiritual guide. 

2.  Tiev learns that she is treasured and loved by Love Itself.
No ego-driven measure of success like book sales make you worthy; you are already there. Your worth is not a product of what you produce; it is a product of your divine DNA. You exist because you are enough. You are enough because you exist!

3.  Tiev becomes discouraged by the limiting beliefs of those around her.
Your visions have limits, your soul does not. Sometimes, we become anxious, afraid and discouraged by mistaking our limited view of reality for all that is and all that we are equipped to handle. Remember, as far as you (or others) can see does not mark the end of the road.    


I Remember...
My Forgotten Self is a divinely inspired work. Though I am committed to its journey, it is God’s creation and I surrender it to God. If it’s a NY Times bestseller—great! If not, that’s okay also.  I release all outcome expectations, commit to following my spiritual GPS and enjoying the ride.  When I become anxious, I will remember—Thy Will Be Done.  And so it is.

How About You?
1. To what measure of success is your self-worth bound—children, career, relationships?
2. What outcome expectations can you release?
3. What fears, doubts, or limiting beliefs hold you back?
4. What stories of disappointment and regret block you from viewing your blessings?
5. Do you know that you are worthy? Treasured? Loved? Enough? (because you are ;-) )
6. What is your “I remember” statement?

Comment below! I'd love to hear from you. :-D

Namaste!
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Copyright © My Forgotten Self Blog, 2014-2016. All rights reserved
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Paths to Purpose

11/6/2014

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“You are purposed to speak about spiritual concepts in a way that allows people to understand them on a deeper level… though you will ultimately reach this goal, your path will be longer because you are held back by your fears.”   This was shared with me by a stranger approximately eight years ago.   Ironically, the very fears he named limited my ability to even consider the unfamiliar path of which he spoke.       

Pre-Approval Required
In life, I have traveled along pre-approved paths:

  • Head up Education Parkway (An expensive toll road; don't linger and don't get lost.)
  • Make a right on Marriage Avenue (The first mile is a doozey, but mostly rolling hills and a few sharp turns after that.)
  • Take that down to Career Highway (You'll be on that for a while.)
  • Then exit onto Babies Boulevard (New construction; travel with care, it gets bumpy at times.)

I love and honor these paths.  They’ve brought me joy and helped form who I am.  With that said, they are relatively safe.  They were pre-approved by my family; opportunities and privileges made them available; and maps have been drawn and followed by those before me.  Sure, I saw potential detours along the way (e.g. Seminary Street; Travel Abroad Trail), but the sweet lull of safety and predictability kept me moving forward. 

Tour Guides and Tea
In recent years, the pre-approved paths have given way to unfamiliar terrain.  Last month, I was led to fly to Houston, Texas to visit friends and attend “Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend Tour.”   All attendees were asked to list visions for “the life [we] truly want.”  What follows is the vision that broke forth:
                                                                            
I have no map or guide, only a light within me that ironically I can see clearest when I slow my pace, close my eyes and focus inward versus ahead.   With my eyes closed, I awaken to the life I truly want.  In my vision, I see the divinely inspired book, My Forgotten Self, published (and many others to follow).  I see myself fully awakened to the Divine Essence within us all. I see hundreds
-- no, thousands of people before me listening not to me but to that which pours through me. I can actually see Christ’s light emanating from everyone.  I speak to people, helping them to see who God created them to be—the Spiritual Self that has been forgotten.  I see people awakening to this Self, seeing It in themselves and everyone around them.  I see myself engaging my children, my husband, my friends, not with fatigue in my eyes, but filled with light and laughter; fully able to enjoy their presence because I am fully present. 

I asked Spirit to order my steps towards this reality and the vision I received was of a cup not filled with more, but less! It was filled with my family, friends, writing, self-care (food, exercise), meditation, laughter, intention, surrender, energy, openness, gratefulness and of course, tea.  That’s it? WOW!  This weekend, Oprah and the Trailblazers helped me to realize that there are other paths; paths not yet cleared or approved that I can travel. 


After the conference as I sat in my hotel room I came to an awareness that parts of me were excited to jump on these paths to my purpose but needed my permission.  The next morning, I awakened with their permission slip signed!  I am traveling off-road!  I am ready to awaken those parts of myself minimized and held down by fear, unworthiness, busyness, distraction and inaction. I am ready to “awaken to the life I TRULY want!”  Are you?

What is your vision?
Down what path is God leading you? What fears are posing as roadblocks? Comment below; in a journal; or with others.  However you choose to do it, state your vision loud and clear. Dig deep!  Explore your passions, desires, and skills.  Above all, set the intention, hold the vision and trust the process.


Copyright © My Forgotten Self Blog, 2014. All rights reserved.

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Book Journey 4: Divine Doors

10/20/2014

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They say God opens doors.  Through those doors dwell persons and experiences that assist with our growth, progress, and recognition of our Spiritual selves.  Words, actions, intentions and emotional energy play into and support this process.  A process through which we are gifted with mighty tools, invaluable lessons, and loyal companions.  

Door to Direction
Following the powerful group experience, I nervously shared My Forgotten Self with friends, like Ursula, a New Thought minister. It elicited the familiar silence and then, “You really need to publish this!” She continued in an equally serious tone, “Such a deep and universally relatable story.”  “Universal?” Another seed planted.  Sensing my hesitation, she suggested I share it with people who “know writing” and could give me feedback: “Go to this writing group!” she directed.  

Door to Guidance
In walked Warren  Smith, a youthful-looking, shiny-headed, white male with kind eyes. He introduced himself and began teaching story elements—plot, conflict, character. . .  I tried to keep up with the words and corresponding white-board sketches.  Following this brief, intense lesson, Warren read his own piece.  Other readers followed, everyone giving and receiving compassionate feedback from Warren and the group.  

I nervously read My Forgotten Self and met the tell-tale silence.  Finally, the first comment:

“When are you going to publish that so I can buy copies for myself and my granddaughter?"  

“Granddaughter?” There it was again--a children’s book?!

Others chimed in with compliments. Warren suggested ways to improve the tale.  Before leaving I took his card.  

Our first meeting:

Warren: “we as writers…”  

Me: “I’m sorry, who’s we?”

Warren: “You and me.”

Me: *laughing* “Oh no, I’m not a writer.”

*25 minutes of encouragement, redefinition and debate later*

Me: “…so, what you’re saying is, I’m a writer?”  

After that intervention, Warren became my writing coach and much more: editor, networker, agent, and therapist.  I playfully dubbed him, “Tiev’s Godfather.” He’s thankfully held my hand from the beginning. I now confidently call myself a WRITER!

Door to Manifestation
Warren's First assignment: write down ideas describing the book's illustrations.

Warren's Second assignment: find someone bold (or crazy) enough to transform my ramblings into meaningful pictures.  Oy! I pitied the fool!  

Warren suggested illustrators.  I finally met Michele Phillips and instantly liked her!  Her easy going style, sense of humor and open mind attracted me.  After her first drawing, it was confirmed: Fool? Not on your life! Insightful and brilliant? Absolutely!  She connected my descriptive ramblings to the visual world, and built upon them magically.  There they were; my thoughts manifest!

My reaction to first seeing Tiev was reminiscent of the way I felt when I first looked at my children’s faces after birthing them—wonderment, excitement, mystical.   

Theeeen...nothing...screeching halt…life kicked in and My Forgotten Self was, for all intents and purposes, forgotten; collecting megabyte dust on my hard drive.

Door to Divine Harassment 
Fast forward, four very full years later; I was re-visited by the same Divine Friend who gifted me with Tiev's once-upon-a-time tale.  My Forgotten Self was now bombarding my mind! Once a month became once a week became once a day until I literally shouted, "OKAY! I'LL PUBLISH IT!"

The second start was slow, like pressing the big red button on an old conveyor belt in an abandoned factory: contacting Warren and Michele, reminding everyone about the book and illustrations; outlining timelines and agendas; contacting publishers, etc.

Ah, now you’re all caught up! Illustration is taking place. My “team”—Michele, Warren and the Holy Spirit (and countless others in support)— are graciously supporting this process. 

As doors continue to swing, I would be honored to continue sharing the gifts and lessons I pick up along the way. Stay tuned!

​Related Post: Paths to Purpose


Copyright © My Forgotten Self Blog, 2014. All rights reserved

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Book Journey 3: Not Of Me But Through Me

10/6/2014

4 Comments

 
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Broadway! Okay, not quite...
The group exercise was not over. The facilitators asked us to choose one story to turn into a play. Almost in unison, the entire group turned to me. I was honored but at the same time detached; my mind was still reeling in disbelief and doubt. We had one hour to put together a "play." We made props, designed scenes and chose music.

It was show time!

Act 1: Dreams and Wishes
I played Tiev. I leapt with excitement and joy, depicting her passion-flooded mind, overflowing with endless possibilities. I was elated- and winded- as I jumped through the air.

Act 2: Doubts and Weights
My fellow group members lined up to play Tiev's family members. As I stood before each of them presenting her dreams, they literally handed me weights representing doubt and fear. By the end, I was heavy; her fiery passion doused with confusion and anger.

Act 3: Divine Union and Worth

My group members were re-cast. I held hands with the gentleman now playing I Am. We whisked by each group member, whose orientations and actions depicted truths about Tiev and her purpose. In the end, we jumped through a hoop representing Tiev's transformation, invaluable purpose and worth in the eyes of I Am. I felt renewed, hopeful, and impassioned. She had come full circle and I was leaping again. The joy and excitement had returned; her literal weights were cast aside, clanging as they fell to the ground. Promising to never leave her, I Am was by my side jumping higher and with more excitement than I could muster.

A Real Gift
Before we parted for the day, the gentleman who played, I Am, approached me. "Thank you for writing and sharing that story. I want to be that for my daughter. I want to encourage and not discourage her," he said looking shyly to the ground. Then he lifted his eyes to mine and added, "You have a real gift!"


In that very moment, his words knocked down the walls of detachment, disbelief, and anxiety that were blocking me from a profound but simple insight. I met his gaze again and spoke the words, "Yes! Not of me but though me."

Spirit had gifted me with Tiev's tale. I was right, "I could never write" such a story in and of myself. Another seed firmly planted. Now, what to do with it? God had others lined up and waiting to help me discern the answer to this very question.

​READ Book Journey Part 4: Divine Doors


Copyright © My Forgotten Self Blog, 2014. All rights reserved

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Book Journey 2: When God Smiles (aka Once Upon A Time)

9/17/2014

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“Mommy, can you read me this story?” My toddler asked as he dragged his new book across the room.

“Sure!” I exclaimed, hoisting him onto my lap.

As I read, I stopped and thought, “children’s books…humph…they are so complicatedly simple.  I could NEVER write one of these!”

I know now that at that moment, God was smiling broadly. My ground was tilled and ready to receive another seed, and this seed would burst through into my very being.

2 Weeks Later…

“The only rule is that the story must begin with the words, ‘once upon a time,’” announced the facilitator from ArtReach (a group therapy training program which used creative arts to help soldiers heal from combat trauma).    

I wrote the words at the top of my notebook paper -- once, upon, a, time. 

After that, everything shifted. The words began to pour out of me.  At one point, I uttered, “Slow down! I can’t write that fast!” I had to write one and two word notes in the margins to remember what to write two sentences from then. 

The next and more profound realization was that many of the lines were the very words and phrases that seemed to "glow" before me as I read the Bible.  

Returns the Ghost of Story-Time Past

The exercise ended and we group members were invited to read our stories.  I was still wrestling with the notion of "my story" given how it was conceived and felt nervous to read; however, I read the lines and listened for the groups response.

“This you cannot be!” I heard them chuckle.

“You can and must be all of these things.” They gasped.

“Do not let others define what they did not create.” Their astonishment turned to moans of recognition.

I finished; they were so quiet.  Eventually, the man to my left spoke, "Wow! You wrote that in twenty minutes?!” 

“More like transcribed!” I thought.

The woman in front of me said, “I needed to hear that. It’s like you wrote that for me.”  

The facilitator chimed in, “It reads like a really deep children’s book.”  

“Children’s book?!” I chuckled as my mind flew back to holding my son and reading his new book while uttering the words, “I could never write one of these.”  

God's smile was clear; the seeds' contents had blossomed within me.  Little did I know, the last profound message of that day had yet to arrive; its carrier, one of my fellow group members.

​READ Book Journey Part 3: Not of Me but Through Me


Copyright © My Forgotten Self Blog, 2014. All rights reserved
 



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    Intention

    My intention in writing this blog is to inspire you to fully embrace your youryydivine worth; fearlessly live your yosoul's purpose; and faithfully encourage others to do the same.

    I truly hope you enjoy your time here!

    Copyright © My Forgotten Self Blog, 2014-2016. All rights reserved.

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